Title: Blood
Author: Grey
Fandom: STARGATE SG1
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Rating: NC-17
Status: New/Complete
Series: No
Archive: Yes
Email: Grey853@aol.com
Date: August 2001
Website: http://grey.ravenshadow.net

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Daniel and Jack talk about families.

Notes: This has spoilers for "Rite of Passage", "Crystal Skull" and any episode that contained Sha're and Charlie.

Warnings: This contains lots of Daniel angst.

Blood
by Grey
Grey853@aol.com

Daniel fingered the edge of his yellow legal pad, his own handwriting bunched up together, the scribbled translation almost an alien language by itself. He sat back and pushed up his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"About finished?"

Glancing up, Daniel smiled at the familiar form in his doorway. "Not quite."

Jack looked at his watch and shook his head. "You can have more fun and games tomorrow. Things have calmed down enough. We should go home and get some sleep."

"How's Cassie?"

"Janet says she's sleeping normally now. Should be home in a few days."

"We got lucky, Jack."

"Yeah, we did. Wicked Witch of the Snakeheads showed up just in time."

Frowning, Daniel crossed his arms as he mentally replayed the session with the general. "I can't believe Hammond and Teal'c were actually considering sacrificing Cassandra in order to get Goa'uld information."

Jack stepped closer to the table, his face serious. "Well, they're military."

"You and Sam are military. Neither of you lost your perspective, at least not this time."

"What's that supposed to mean, not this time?"

Shrugging, Daniel stood up, his arms still crossed as he stepped to the far corner. "Face it, Jack. You've been on the military side more often than not."

"So?"

"So, I'm just saying, I'm glad you weren't thinking like that this time. Like you said, if we're willing to sacrifice a child, we might as well pack it in. We'd be no better than the Goa'uld."

"I'm not arguing with you on that one. I mean, we agree. But I do understand what they were saying." Jack paused, his voice more serious. "Hell, I can think of times when I probably would've even agreed with them."

"Times before Charlie?"

Jack studied his brooding friend and paused at the unexpected mention of his son's name. "Yeah, before Charlie. Having a kid makes you change your thinking."

Returning to his seat, still avoiding Jack's eyes, Daniel's voice shook slightly. "This whole thing was incredibly hard on Janet. I really respect her for taking Cassie in like that. She's a great mother."

Jack put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking."

"About?"

"About a lot of things."

"Nothing new there."

"I was just thinking about how I wish I could tell my foster parents thanks."

"Daniel..."

"Don't worry. I'm okay. Really."

Unconvinced, Jack squeezed his shoulder gently and motioned to the door. "Hey, you hungry? There's a steak with your name on it in the fridge."

"It's a little late to eat."

"Daniel, you were up all last night going through those tapes of Cassie's planet and unless you sneaked a sandwich in when I wasn't looking, all you've had today is coffee. I know it's your life's blood, but you need to eat."

"Thanks, but I'm not really hungry." Rolling his neck and shoulders, Daniel stood up. "I am tired though."

As he reached to pick up his legal pad and the papers for his translation, Jack stopped him. "Nope. No homework. You need to relax."

In defiance, Daniel picked up the folders anyway. "I need to finish this before the next mission."

Jack deliberately took the work from Daniel's hands and put it back on the table. "Tomorrow. That's an order."

Eye to eye for a few moments, Daniel relaxed and surrendered. "Okay, but if Hammond asks why I didn't get finished, it's on your head."

"It always is." His hand at the small of Daniel's back, Jack guided him to the door. "Now, let's go home. I'm hungry."

An electric tingle spread through Daniel's skin at the husky, inviting tone. Daniel waited until they checked out and walked to the parking lot before he finally asked, "Am I going home home or to your place tonight?"

Dark brown eyes smiled. "I'm hoping my place."

"Hope springs eternal."

"Is that your fancy way of saying yes?"

Daniel unlocked his car, his smile hidden in the low light. "I'll meet you there."

"I've got to stop for gas. You've got a key."

"Should I make myself comfortable?"

Jack chuckled at the tease. "Naked and ready works."

Daniel slammed the door shut and started the engine, wanting more than anything to be already there, to be safe and loved at Jack's place.

Daniel put his glasses on the table and poured himself a straight whiskey. He didn't drink much, hated the flavor, but definitely appreciated the kick. Sipping the fiery liquid, he stood in the dark looking out at the night, the cool breeze swaying the branches in the moonlight. Sighing, he thought about Sha're, of her loving touches, her fevered kisses along his neck and shoulders. Her rounded body pressed into his and he swelled with the love he still carried. His blood sang with loneliness. Daniel swallowed back the memory and finished his drink before pouring another, waiting impatiently for the fuzzy heat to dull the edges of lingering grief.

The door opened and the light clicked on, stabbing his eyes.

"Daniel?"

"Jesus, Jack."

Frowning, Jack stepped in and shut the door behind him. He dropped his keys on the table, his gaze never leaving Daniel. "Drinking in the dark?"

Daniel blinked, his eyes adjusting slowly to the brightness. He shrugged as he finished off his second drink. He walked to the kitchen and rinsed out the glass. "I was just waiting."

Jack moved in behind him at the sink, his arms wrapping his waist, his lips pressed gently against his cheek. Hugging him, he whispered, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Don't even try it. Is this about Cassie?"

Daniel turned in the older man's arms, his face resting on Jack's shoulder. "Not really."

"Then what is it?"

Lifting his head, Daniel cupped Jack's face, the day long whiskers burning his palm as he met the worried eyes. "It's nothing. Let's go to bed."

"We should talk."

"Later."

Capturing his lips, Daniel explored his lover's mouth, the whiskey spreading between them. He pulled away and took Jack's hand to guide him to the bedroom. Once there, they both quickly undressed and Daniel pushed the older man back on the bed, his own body stretching out over his muscular form. Once again he ravaged Jack's mouth, the soft groans adding fire to his need, his cock aching as he rubbed against warm flesh. Shifting higher on the bed, Daniel rocked against Jack, his knees parting his lover's thighs, their cocks lined up between their bellies.

Setting up a rhythm, Daniel thrust, drinking in the delicious flame rolling through his brain as Jack's mouth explored his neck and chest, sucking and nibbling the flushed skin. Strong hands grabbed his ass and kneaded his butt cheeks as he pushed harder to come, to channel the spirals winding through his middle. His brain sparkled with pressure, flashes of light streaming out as he arched up with a sudden release. His choked scream shocked the thin air. Words in his head all stopped and he wallowed in pleasure, the fingers of delight floating all over as he arched up, his spine bowed with coming.

Jack jerked beneath him, the hot spray musky and slick. Sweat plastered Daniel's hair and his skin burned with a wonderful itch. Nothing mattered as he sagged and struggled to breathe, his lungs stretched too thin and layered with ash. Heart racing, he lay there, still panting, his muscles too weak to move. Arms wrapped his body as Jack rolled him on his back and kissed him once again, his tongue thick and still eager.

Eyes squeezed shut, Daniel drank in the sensation, his mind shut down from language, feeling only the world through his senses, the saltiness of Jack's skin, the roughness of his beard against his own, the dip of the world as the older man spread his legs and stroked his inner thighs gently. A tongue trailed down and licked him clean, gentle fingers lifting his spent cock. Daniel moaned again as Jack lay beside him and then hugged him close, kissing his temple, his own tangy scent still clinging to his lover's lips.

"Jesus, Jack."

"Better?"

"Oh, yeah."

"You screamed."

"I heard that."

"You've never done that before."

Eyes still closed, Daniel confessed in the dark. "I try not to."

"Why?"

"I don't like losing control."

A snort brought Daniel's head up to see Jack's amused grin. "What?"

"You can't control everything, Daniel. Sex has nothing to do with control."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

Daniel rolled on his side and met his lover's serious gaze. "What are you trying to say? You think I control things too much?"

"I think you try to, yeah. You keep everything locked down. It's hard to get to what counts."

Daniel palmed Jack's chest, no longer meeting his eyes. "You managed."

"Did I?"

Pulling back, Daniel frowned. "What?"

"I think I know you and then I don't know you at all."

"We're all a little like that."

Jack's voice softened, the tone deep and rich, the words full of concern. "Why were you so upset when I got here?"

"I wasn't."

"Daniel, come on. You don't drink and you don't usually initiate what we just did." Jack caressed his cheek, his touch like whispered flame. "What's going on in that wacky brain of yours?"

Sighing, Daniel fell back, staring at the ceiling. "Sha're and I used to talk about having a family."

Startled, Jack sat up, pulling the sheets higher. "Yeah?"

"She wanted a baby. I wasn't ready. I told her we should wait, that we'd have plenty of time."

His voice sad, Jack reached out and rested an open hand on Daniel's bare chest. "You thought you did."

"It wasn't that. I didn't want a child. I was afraid of being a father. Now it's too late."

"You're still young."

His heart tight, Daniel turned his head. "Jack, I love you. I don't want to be with anyone else. The only way we'll have a child is if we do like Janet and Sam and take one in."

"That wouldn't be so bad."

"Not for you. You love kids. For me, it's not the same."

"You like kids, too. I've seen you with Cassie."

"Kids scare me, Jack."

"I don't understand."

"It's complicated."

Jack smiled and lovingly smacked Daniel's forehead. "Well, when it comes to you, that kind of goes without saying."

"I guess it does." Daniel sat up and leaned back against the headboard as he smoothed sheets over his lap. "It's just that seeing Janet go through all this with Cassie, well, it's brought up a lot of things from my past."

"Like what?"

"After my parents died and Nick didn't want me, I had a lot of time to wonder what it meant to belong somewhere. I don't think I ever found that, not when I was growing up. There were too many foster homes, too many agencies and schools. No matter where I was, I never fit in."

Jack reached out and took Daniel's hand. "Until now."

Nodding, his eyes stinging, Daniel swallowed hard. "Yeah, Jack, until now." He squeezed Jack's hand and then kissed it. "I still feel lost sometimes though."

"Planet hopping will do that. Half the time I don't have a clue where I am."

"I kind of suspected that."

"You did, huh?"

"You keep looking for the yellow brick road."

"Because I feel like we're over the rainbow every time we walk through the damn gate."

Chuckling, Daniel leaned in and snuggled closer. "More than a little symbolism there."

Petting back his hair, Jack rested his chin on his lover's head, his words heavy with regret. "Don't go there, Danny. We're not ready to wave the gay flag just yet."

"I know, Jack. It just seems so strange, all the games we have to play. Sam and Janet and you and me. We risk our lives all the time to save the planet and we have to hide being together. It makes no sense."

"I know. It's just the way it is. Sam and Janet both knew that going in."

"They make great moms though."

"Yeah, they do."

Daniel kissed Jack's belly. "I wish we didn't have to lie about it."

"Me, too. For now."

"For now?"

"Until I retire."

"Or we're dead."

Jack sighed and shifted, lifting Daniel's chin to meet his blue eyes. "Daniel, you're being a real sack of sunshine tonight. What's going on?"

"Nothing. I just worry sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Shrugging, Daniel pulled away and threw his legs over the side of the bed. "Where are you going?"

"I think I should go home tonight."

"Why?"

"I'm not very good company."

"That's never made a difference before."

"Cute, Jack."

Reaching out, Jack grabbed Daniel's wrist before he could stand. "I'm sorry. Stay."

"Why?"

"I love you and I don't like sleeping alone."

"I love you, too, but I'm tired."

"Then stay here. I've got pillows and perks."

Allowing Jack to move in, Daniel feigned resisting. "I'm really wiped out, Jack. I can't play anymore tonight."

Jack kissed the side of his neck, his tongue licking a trail to his ear. "I could let you sleep and save the wicked games until the morning."

"Yeah?"

Teasing Daniel's nipple with his fingers, Jack purred. "Oh, yeah. Nothing like a grumpy Daniel in the morning. You wake up soooo hot and sexy once you get going."

His cock stirring again, Daniel moaned as Jack suckled his throat and ran a finger down between his ass cheeks. "Jesus, Jack, how am I supposed to sleep like this?"

"Oh, my, we might have to do something about that nasty condition, huh?"

"You bastard."

"God, I love when you talk dirty." Jack rolled him on his belly, his talented mouth working its way down his spine as he kneeled between Daniel's thighs.

"Slut."

"Oh, yeah."

"Asshole."

"Got it." Lifting Daniel's hips, Jack parted his cheeks before his tongue swiped the tight pucker. Bucking back, Daniel groaned in pleasure as spit-slick thumbs entered him, opening him up for one of his favorite things before Jack fucked him.

Twisting, Daniel begged for more with a litany of curses. "Son of a bitch, mother fucker, sweet Jesus, you fucker. Oh, god, Jack, don't stop."

Whiskers scraped sensitive skin as Jack shoved his face closer, blowing and sucking, using his tongue and fingers to drive waves of heat through Daniel's gut, his balls drawing up, his cock throbbing. His legs trembled as Jack fondled his balls. The older man draped his body over his back, his cock lodged against his opening. "I want you."

"Do it."

"You sure?"

"Fuck, Jack. Just do it, you bastard."

Daniel shivered with the flurry of soft kisses, the gentle, lazy strokes along his sides. Jack's low voice called to his heart, the husky whispers slender sweeps across his soul. "Sweet. So sweet. My Daniel."

Shoving back, impatient, Daniel groaned. "Please, Jack."

Perverse, still taking his time, Jack kissed him slowly as he rolled on a condom and slicked his hole a few more times with the cool gel on his fingers. "You want it?"

"Sadist. Just do it and stop talking."

Holding Daniel's hips steady, Jack pressed his cock in harder. Daniel moaned at the luxury of pressure, the push inside him as Jack thrust deeper. Swaying slightly, he squeezed his eyes shut, his body shaking. Sweat dripped down his face as he took deep breaths, relaxing, knowing first pain would soon change to delicious ripples of pleasure. His face fell into the pillow as he twisted, his lover's arms around his middle as he stroked his cock in rhythm with his urgent movements. Tiny whimpers betrayed him as he rocked back and Jack hammered forward. Jack's power shoved him over the edge, brought him to the brink, and smashed his control to nothing. He screamed once again, his throat raw, his brain locked away from reason. Spasms crashed through his body as Jack finished inside him, his lover's release exploding with thunder between them.

Collapsing, Daniel fought to breathe as Jack still remained inside him, his cock shrinking slowly. More kisses feathered his neck before the older man finally shifted and withdrew. Rolling on his back, Jack whispered between labored breaths. "Jesus, Daniel. You're going to kill me."

"Better than a zat gun."

"Way better." Sighing, Jack shook his head and smiled. "I need to clean us up and then we can sleep."

Still lying on his belly, his arms folded under his head, Daniel closed his eyes in satisfaction. His words came out dreamy. "I can't move."

"You don't have to." The mattress shifted and a few moments later he heard the water running in the bathroom as Jack cleaned himself up before he returned. Soon, a warm cloth wiped his ass gently. "You want the front cleaned, you have to roll over."

Nearly asleep, Daniel complained. "Don't want to."

"You'll be sorry in the morning."

Reluctantly, Daniel complied, the warm cloth soothing as Jack tended to his needs. "Feels good."

"You're in the wet spot. Let me put a towel down."

Lifting up, Daniel appreciated the care for detail, the way Jack always cleaned and babied him after being together. He smiled and pulled his lover down into his arms, kissing him with appreciation. Jack ran the back of his hand up the side of his face. "What was that for?"

"I love you."

"Same here, bucko."

Daniel laughed. "Bucko?"

Cradling Daniel's ass, Jack scooted in and rested his head on Daniel's chest. "You buck like a wild man when we get going."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. Not that I'm complaining. I just never figured you'd be so crazy in bed."

"Just crazy out of it."

"Crazy as a loon, you said it." Snuggling in closer, Jack pulled up the sheets. "Better now?"

"I'm fine, Jack."

"You know it's okay to get down about Sha're. I don't mind. I know you miss her."

"Thanks. I know you miss Charlie, too. You can talk about him if you want. You don't have to, but I'm here if you ever need to."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I do. I didn't before, but I do now."

"I'm glad." Daniel smoothed back Jack's spiky, grey hair and kissed the top of his head. "I think I can sleep now."

"Good thing. I'm fresh out of perks."

"Until morning."

"Oh, yeah, and morning comes early if we're lucky."

"Horny devil."

"You betcha."

Smiling, Daniel hugged Jack good night, his mind drifting over the unbelievable luck of his life, the strange worlds and dreams, the man in his arms being his talisman against the aching loneliness haunting his blood.

The End