Title: Good Fortune 5
Author: Grey
Fandom: The Sentinel
Pairing: B/S
Rating: NC-17
Status: New/Complete
Archive: Yes
Email: Grey853@aol.com
Series/Sequel: The Fifth in the Good Fortune series.
Date: July 2000
Website: http://grey.ravenshadow.net/

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Summary: Jim claims to accept Blair's relationship with Simon, but confronts Simon about his reservations and fears.

Notes: Thanks to XFreak for all her support.

Warnings: Explicit sex.

Good Fortune 5
by Grey
Grey853@aol.com

Stretched out, Jim floated on a cushion of arousal as hands stroked and spread his ass. The grass mat beneath him scratched his belly, the thin fibers rough and tickling. A hot tongue flicked between his cheeks as he moaned into the rich earth, his need tightening his gut, his body trembling. Incacha's silky hair trailed along his skin, teasing, sending deep shivers through his whole body as oiled thumbs pushed inside him. His lover primed him, alternating between sucking and probing, the delicious taunt like sweet honey to hunger. He wanted it, the swell building and bunching his muscles, the tightness breaking his resistance, his senses spiking not to pain but absolute pleasure. God, he loved his shaman.

Blinding light suddenly broke the scene, reeling him back, his mind spinning into a different world, a place of whispers and cinderblock buildings. Sitting up, he sat bound, his breathing blocked, panic gibbering and warning him to stay silent. Deny everything, admit nothing. Truth and lies twisted into tough jungle vines, choking his heart, his mind blocked and captured. He couldn't remember. Nothing made sense as sweat stung the wounds, the bruises throbbing.

Men in white coats and uniforms surrounded him, questions in all directions. Nothing made sense, everything blurry as he closed his eyes, fighting off the oily sickness rolling through him.

The natives drugged him, used him, made him different. They all said so, the doctors and colonels, the people in charge who snatched him away, saved him, made him miserable all over again.

Opening his eyes, he remained naked and strapped in the chair, but in a different place, Simon's office. Blair paced and shook his head, his voice strained. "He's running away. I can't reach him."

"Give him time. He's a stubborn bastard, but he'll come around."

"I don't want to lose him, Simon." The younger man stood still, his eyes trained on the world outside the window. "He's so afraid of people finding out, he won't even touch me."

Standing, his voice husky, Simon wrapped his arms around Blair's waist and pulled him closer. "His loss." Kissing the side of his neck, the larger man begged, "Let me fuck you."

"Not here."

"Yes, here." Both pairs of eyes focused on Jim's as he strained to get free, his secured hands still useless. "Teach the son of a bitch a lesson. Let him see what he's missing."

Peeling away from Simon, Blair walked over to Jim, leaned in and used both hands to hold his face captive. He kissed with passion, his tongue tasting of lemon and pushing in with a quick swirl before retreating. Standing back up, he shook his head in regret as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped. Turning away, Blair pushed down his jeans while Simon moved in behind him, his larger body driving him down across the rigid edge of the table. A thick, dark cock sprang free and Simon used one hand to grip the back of Blair's neck while he used the other to steady himself as he entered.

Simon gave one long hard trust, no preparation, just slamming in and then serious pumping. Each thrust made the grunts louder as Blair's breathing shifted to short pants, the table shaking rhythmically beneath him. The bitter tang of cigar and semen coated the air as the world turned hazy.

Simon rammed in over and over, Blair begging for more between the chorus of whimpers as he kept his hungry eyes fixed on Jim. He didn't say it out loud, but Jim heard the echo in his head repeating the invitation. "Join us."

Jim's own body betrayed him, his cock waking up, the thick heat burning up his middle. Thighs slicked with sweat yearned and trembled as he shook his head in absolute denial.

He couldn't want this, not now, not ever.

But he did and he knew it.

Swallowing hard, breathing shattered his lungs, the icy bite distracting as he fought with his tongue. Nothing worked like it should, his eyes open, his leaking cock a traitorous bastard as it envied Simon and wanted to fuck him.

Words failed and lay flopping inside his head, impotent, lurking for the future as he watched his friends come together, the spasms jerking their bodies. Simon finally stood up, his cock still glistening and full, still jutting in his direction. Blair slid down off the table and crawled between Jim's legs, his face still dazed and happy. He stayed on all fours as he fondled his balls, teasing his shaft with a quick flick of his tongue. "You want this."

"No."

"Yes."

Speech gone again, he gulped dry ashes as Blair swallowed him down and Simon leaned into watch, his voice low and so much like velvet. "I'm next, Jim. We love you."

The long ache at his crotch arched his back, the fire too hot, too wicked to control. Screaming out, he wrecked the air with his own coming, the waves shaking him awake, his own heartbeat like rapid thunder. Falling back, he trembled, the sheets soaked and his soiled boxers used as evidence against him.

Sitting up in a panic, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and leaned forward. Wiping the cold sweat away, he swore. "Jesus, I hate this."

Jim sat on the sofa, his right foot braced against the coffee table as he sipped lukewarm coffee and stared out the window. Winter blasted the sleeping city, the rain on the verge of ice, the frost edging the windows. A light switched on and he squinted his eyes as he heard the sound of shuffling feet behind him. "Jim? You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"It's only 5:30. Did you get any sleep at all?"

"Enough. Go back to bed."

Wearing his flannel robe, his hair loose and wild, Blair yawned and straddled the armrest as he scratched his head. After a few moments, he crossed his arms and studied him. "I heard a yell earlier and then I heard the shower. Bad dream?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"Sure. You can handle it." Blair sighed and shook his head. "Any more coffee?"

"Should be."

"Good."

"It's still early. You don't have to stay up."

"I know I don't have to, but I wasn't sleeping that well anyway. No great loss." Blair fetched himself a cup of coffee and then settled in the chair across from him, his legs tucked up under his butt as he drank. He closed his eyes as he swallowed and then rolled his head to stretch his neck muscles.

They sat in silence for several minutes before Jim finally spoke. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I had no business talking about who you choose to sleep with."

"I appreciate that, man, but I understand why you were upset."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I think so. This was out of the blue. If you'd decided to do the same thing without warning me first, I'd probably have been pissed off, too."

Jim put the mug on the side table and stood up, his muscles stiff and complaining. He rubbed the bruised knuckles absently. "That's still no excuse. You want to be with Simon, that's up to you."

"Yeah, it is."

"It's just that it complicates things, and let's face it, things weren't exactly simple before that."

"No, they weren't." After pausing, Blair leaned in and put his coffee mug on the table. "Simon's really sorry he hurt you."

"I know." Jim looked up and met his eyes. "How do you feel about what he did?"

"What do you mean? Do I think he loves you? Yeah, he does."

"Come on. We're talking about Simon here. I just can't get it out of my head. He's my friend. Why would he ruin things like that?"

"Ruin things?"

"I'm not like that."

"Like what? Gay? What about Incacha?"

Jim shook his head again and stood up to go to the kitchen. He poured himself more coffee, but left the cup on the counter while he crossed one arm around his middle and pinched the bridge of his nose. After several minutes, he finally took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "Incacha saved my life and I'm not just talking about the crash."

"You're talking about your senses, right?"

"Yeah." Walking into the living room, Jim stood by the window while Blair watched from the chair. "They came on line about a month after I crashed. I was a mess, Chief. I had no idea what was going on. Here I was just learning the language and the customs and I had all these sensory spikes going on. Everything hurt and I couldn't control myself. I'd just start screaming or worse go into a zone for days at a time. They had me locked in a hut like some crazy man until Incacha figured out what was going on. He trained me."

"I understand that, Jim. Was being his lover part of the bargain?"

"No." The older man's voice softened into a quiet whisper. "That came later. There was a fever in the village and Incacha managed to save everyone but two young girls, twins. Later, when it was over, we were just sitting together talking about the next hunting party. He moved in close and before I knew it, he kissed me and we spent the night together. After that, well, I would've done anything he said."

"Did you love him?"

"Yes."

"So why didn't you tell me any of this before?"

Jim rubbed the back of his head before slumping on the sofa. "I didn't remember until after he died."

"You repressed it?"

"Yeah, or at least the sexual part. When I did remember, I just didn't want to talk about it. I mean, what was the point? That was a part of my past I didn't want to deal with." Jim leaned forward, his hands fisted in front of him as he avoided Blair's eyes. "I'm not gay, Chief. Incacha's the only man I've ever been with."

"But is he the only man you've ever wanted to be with?"

Rubbing his face with both hands, Jim sat back and wrapped his arms around his middle. "Can I take the fifth here?"

Snorting, Blair shook his head and got up. He sat on the other end of the sofa, his body turned toward Jim's. "What do you think would happen if you were gay, Jim? You think the world would come to an end if the great Jim Ellison turned queer?"

"I hate that word."

"Yeah, I know. Me, too. The thing is, man, we're sexual beings. We get turned on for all kinds of reasons. Gender's only part of the package."

"I know that."

"Intellectually you know it, but in your heart you're fighting one hell of a battle. You're so afraid of opening yourself up, you're shutting out the people who really love you."

"Like Simon?"

"Yeah, and me."

The sting blurred his vision as Jim closed his eyes. "I love you, too, Chief, but it can't be like that between us."

"Why not?"

"Because it can't."

"Great answer, man."

Suddenly defensive, Jim stood up, his head pounding, the words picking up force. "Listen, you and Simon do what you want, but I'm not part of it. Just leave me out of it."

"Why are you so upset again?"

Jim didn't bother to listen, his anger swelling all over. "I mean, where the fuck does Simon get off trying to manipulate you into including me anyway? What's that about? Love is between two people, not three. I still can't even believe he suggested it."

As Jim walked into the kitchen, Blair followed, keeping his voice soft and even. "Because he loves you and he loves me, too. What's wrong with wanting to share that?"

"What's wrong? How can you even ask that? Do you have any idea how hard it is to just handle two people in a relationship? Dealing with three would be crazy. It'd be a disaster and we'd end up hating each other."

"It could work."

"Yeah, right. Simon and I are both divorced and you've never had a relationship long enough to even consider marriage. You're kidding yourself if you think this thing has a chance in hell."

"I'm willing to take that chance, Jim, and so is Simon."

Jim shook his head and walked past Blair to the stairs. "Well, I'm not, so just drop it."

"For now."

"Not for now, Chief. Forever. It's not going to happen, so just forget about it."

Simon stared through the window of his office, Jim's desk empty, the bullpen full of activity. Turning away, he pulled out his cigar and sniffed it. He wanted to light up, but Blair hated his smoking. He really should quit. Taking another whiff, Simon groaned at the wave of craving, but put it away and reached for coffee instead. A knock on the door behind him grabbed his attention. "Yeah?"

Brown poked his head in. "Jim's on his way in. Said he was picking up a suspect for the Bores case, somebody named Gorn."

"Thanks." As the detective shut the door, Simon swallowed hard. Jim should've called him directly, but instead he called Brown. Damn. Walls going up higher and higher.

The phone rang before he pondered much longer. "Banks."

"Simon, it's Blair. Is Jim there yet?"

The tension eased at the sound of his lover's voice. Sitting down behind his desk, Simon turned his back to the inner office window, his words less stressed. "He's bringing in a suspect. How you doing?"

"I'm fine. Jim's having a hard time though. He didn't sleep worth shit and he had a nightmare."

"Did you two get a chance to talk this morning?"

"Some." Blair hesitated and Simon heard the squeak of a rolling chair. "Look, Simon, I think we should back off for awhile. Give him some time to process what's going on."

"I thought that's what we were doing by my leaving last night." The older man paused and closed his eyes before he whispered, "I missed you."

"Me, too, man."

"You coming to my place tonight?"

"You want me to?"

"Yeah, Blair, I do."

"Okay, let me talk to Jim first, okay?"

Simon stiffened and took a deep breath. "Sure. Talk to Jim. If you can find him."

"Don't be pissed."

"I'm not pissed."

"I'm just worried about him, that's all."

Calming himself, Simon rubbed the edge of the desk and nodded. "I know. I am, too. Why don't we meet for lunch and talk about this face-to-face?"

"I'd like to, but I can't. I should be at the station by three though. Maybe we can go to supper later."

"Better yet, I'll fix supper at my place."

"We'll see."

"Okay." Simon hesitated before he added, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, man. Just a little tired. Busy weekend."

"Yeah. Busy's one word for it."

Blair laughed on the other end of the line. "See you later, Simon." As he hung up, Simon shook his head with a smile, his whole body heated with anticipation. Nobody laughed as perfectly as his man Sandburg.

Jim typed the last line of the arrest report and then saved to print and send to records. Dumbass criminals made his job easy sometimes. He turned and watched Simon sitting at his desk, his body language tight and professional as always. Standing, Jim picked up the folder and steeled himself to cop mode, no emotion, no personal business allowed. He knocked on the door and went in to the gruff sound of Simon giving him permission to enter. The door closed behind him and he handed over the file, his hands folded as he remained silent. Gut knotted, he waited as his boss read over the small print and finally closed it to lean back. "Good work, Jim."

"Gorn confessed. The DA should be happy."

"But he wouldn't have confessed if you hadn't done the ground work to get the case air tight. Saves us all a lot of trouble."

Jim avoided Simon's gaze and asked, "Is that all, sir?"

"We need to talk."

"About the case, sir?"

"No, not about the case."

For the first time Jim met his dark eyes. "Then it doesn't belong here. Whatever goes on between you and my partner, that's your business."

"And what about what happened between us?"

"Nothing happened between us. Nothing ever will. You're my captain and I thought you were my friend. Right now I'm having a hard time remembering that."

The pain creased the other man's features, the hurt hitching his breath. "I'm sorry, Jim. I fucked up."

The admission stalled his angry words and Jim turned away, tiny spasms clamping the muscles along his neck and spine. Rubbing his mouth a few times, Jim finally spoke quietly. "I trusted you."

"I know. I'm sorry. Telling Blair about Incacha was up to you."

"I'm not talking about that."

"Then what are you talking about?"

"Come on, Simon, don't play games here. You touched me. You came on to me with Blair right there."

The older man frowned and took a deep breath before he answered. "I can apologize for the timing, Jim, but I won't say I'm sorry for the feelings."

"I don't know what's going on with you. This whole thing makes me crazy."

"I can see that." Standing up, Simon moved closer, but kept several feet between them. "Jim, I don't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. We can do this any way you want. You don't want to discuss it here at work, fine. That's probably the way it should be. But we have to talk about this. Blair's a mess because he thinks you're in trouble."

Puzzled, Jim looked up. "Trouble?"

"Emotionally. He's afraid you're going to shut him out not only because of what he has with me, but what he wants with you."

"Shit." Turning away, Jim walked to the door. "Blair's my partner and you're my captain. I want us to stay friends, but that won't happen if you keep this up. I just can't do what you're asking."

"What is it you think we're asking?"

"To play make believe in a mine field." Jim opened the door and walked out. He steadied himself against his desk as his mind panned across a bomb site littered with the battered corpses of his love life.

No fucking way could he stand to see Blair or Simon mangled and tossed on the pile, too. No way in hell he'd let that happen.

The phone rang and he fumbled the receiver. "Ellison."

"Jim?"

"Chief? What's wrong?"

"I need your help."

The end